Spring Meting

 

Our spring meeting will be held on April 18, Sunday at Room C235, Fort Mason, in San Francisco.  Our featured reader will be Michael Seffield.  Carolyn Hall will give a talk on managing your haiku submissions.

 

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2009 International Haiku, Senryu, Tanka, Rengay Contests

sponsored by Haiku Poets of Northern California

 

HAIKU    (Judge: Naia)

 

First Place

 

solstice moon

the sound of the mousetrap

snapping shut

 

            Carolyn Hall

             

 

(Judge's comments)

 

While it was often the case in these past weeks that the top three haiku rotated in

and out of the first, second, and third positions, ultimately I selected "solstice moon" as the first place haiku. It is a fine example of skillfully applied juxtaposition and implied perception.

 

Solstice is the story of cycles. The moon symbolizes time and was the first

universal measure of time's passage. At solstice, darkness and light are in perfect balance. The pairing of "solstice" and "moon" in the first line suggests the yin/yang balance of energies (sol = sun/masculine, moon = feminine). Juxtaposed against this balance are the implications of a jarring sound that is easily recognized and seldom mistaken for any other -- one that instantly evokes pathos.

 

Another, subtler juxtaposition occurs in the euphony within the first two lines set against the quick, discordant sounds within the third and "final" line.

 

So, what is the implied perception? Hearing the mousetrap snap shut may symbolize ridding oneself of something negative, represented by the mouse. Or, it could represent random destiny, fate awaiting a hapless "pest" (the embodiment of innocence and vulnerability) at the hands of one not only capable of but intent upon killing. This pregnant moment gives way to possibilities the reader is invited to explore further. What will we find when we investigate the sound? Has the mousetrap snapping shut killed the mouse? Is the mouse trapped and suffering? Has the mouse merely triggered the trap and escaped unharmed? Did someone discover the trap and mistakenly or intentionally spring it? Perhaps the one who set the trap had second thoughts and deactivated it, suggesting heightened awareness and benevolence when juxtaposed against the moon, a Zen symbol of enlightenment. These are just some of the possibilities the poet invites us to consider as the reader brings his/her frame of reference to this finely crafted haiku.  Congratulations!

                                                                                                    - Naia

 

Second Place

 

to each other

in the dark--

waving lanterns

 

             Michael McClintock

 

Third Place

 

aspen . . .

I lose a word

or two now and then

 

            Bill Pauly

   

Honorable Mentions   (ranked)

 

the old mare's grave

already dug

April rain

 

            Carolyn Hall 

 

Mother's Day card--

the attempt to say more with less

written larger

 

            Alison Woolpert

 

the grief still fresh . . .

a leaf comes to rest

on its shadow

 

            Carolyn Hall

           

 

 

SENRYU    (Judge: Ce Rosnow)

 

First Place

 

home office 

my wife sends me an email

from the bedroom

 

            Jeremy Pendrey

 

Honorable Mentions (not ranked)

 

overdue

the librarian’s

smile

 

            John Stevenson

 

after the concert

the conductor motions

for his coat

 

            Rich Krivcher

 

retirement day—

my plastic I.D.

snaps in half

 

            Ruth Holzer

 

he talks about

his asset allocation

skimming bugs from the pool

 

            Scott Mason

 

 

 

TANKA    (Judge: Alexis Rotella)

 

First Place

 

winter afternoon

mother and I sort through

her jewelry box—

accepting baubles

just for their stories

 

            Margaret Chula

          

 

 

Second Place

 

without

his blue uniform

the mailman

quietly embarks

on a wild adventure

 

            Cherie Hunter Day

           

 

Third Place

 

the shining moon

that used to perch

on my childhood dreams

now hovers over

a rooming house

 

            Chen-ou Liu

 

 

 

Honorable Mentions (not ranked)

 

I pretended sleep

when my wife left them

on the night stand—

two fireflies

in a jar for me

 

            Michael McClintock

           

 

moonlight

on fox tracks crossing

the frozen river

many winters have gone by

since visiting distant cousins

 

            Kirsty Karkow

 

years later

the harsh words I spoke

bequeathed to me—

pressed wildflowers

in her dictionary

 

            Linda Jeannette Ward

 

 

Rengay    (Judge: Billie Wilson)

 

First Place

 

“Pausing Mid-Pirouette”

 

between storms

stomping in rainbows

of ocean foam                                     Renée Owen, Sebastopol, CA

           

 

a thousand fires

all day the orange sun                         John Thompson, Santa Rosa, CA

 

rising floodwaters

the boy in the red rowboat

waves a pirate flag                              Renée 

 

three-day blizzard—

a chain guy adds my twenties

to his wad of green                             John

 

another heat wave—

she shares a snow cone with her dog 

Renée

the lanky sunflower

pauses mid-pirouette

total eclipse                                         John

 

 

 

Honorable Mentions (ranked)

 

“a pickup game”

 

standby seat—

filling in the crossword

left unfinished                           Christopher Patchel, Mettawa, IL

 

     a pickup soccer game

     at the roadside rest stop     Alice Frampton, Seabeck, WA

     

first graders

fog the school bus window

to play tic-tac-toe                    Christopher

 

     southbound train

     my solitaire cards

     used for gin rummy            Alice

 

twenty questions

with the taxi driver                 Christopher

 

     “Titanic”

     the last night

     of shipboard charades        Alice

 

 

 

 

“Thump of a Rose”

 

moonflower

a dead friend’s name

on the tip of my tongue                  Billie Dee, San Diego, CA

 

hissing, a lava finger

enters the sea                               Josh Wikoff, Petaluma, CA

 

rustling aspen

mouse bones

in the barn-owl pellet                  Michael Dylan Welch, Sammamish, WA

 

 

a locust storm

above the field corn                    Billie

 

spawned out

each stone in the river

lends its voice                             Josh

 

the thump of a rose

on the child’s casket                   Michael

 

 

“Concoctions I” (a bilingual rengay) 

 

dandelion wine

in the summer house

so many old books                  Linda Papanicolaou, Stanford, CA

 

grandma’s recipe

for lime flower cordial            Sprite (Claire Chatelet), London, UK 

 

 

cider apple trees

by night a pipistrelle

polishes the stars                     Linda

 

quince jelly

in a copper basin

the winter’s sun                       Sprite

 

slightly spicy

sorbet of Sweet William          Linda

 

murder on the Nile

she sips hibiscus tea

in a china cup                          Sprite

 

(in French)

vin de pissenlit

dans la maison d’été

tant de vieux livres                   Linda

 

la recette de grand-mère        

pour le cordial de sureau        Sprite

 

pommiers à cidre

la nuit une pipistrelle

polit les étoiles                        Linda

 

gelée de coings

dans une bassine de cuivre

le soleil d’hiver                        Sprite

 

légèrement épicé

sorbet d’oeillet de poète          Linda

 

meurtre sur le Nil

elle boit du thé d’hibiscus

dans de la porcelaine  Sprite

 

 

 "Bits of Shell & Ship"

 

a bag of fruit

by the driftwood fence

a budding friendship                           John Thompson, Santa Rosa, CA

 

on the incoming tide

a message hidden in a bottle               Renée Owen, Sebastopol, CA

 

unearthed—

tiny fossils pressed

into blue slate                                      John

 

finding myself

in a grain of sand—

day at the beach                                  Renée

 

bits of shell and ship

gleaned from the ribs of waves           John

 

losing track of time—

their sandcastle walls

in the setting sun’s light                  Renée

 

 

 

 

“Spiraling Down”

 

long weekend over

a maple key

spiraling down                                   Tanya McDonald, Bellevue, WA

 

 a pale green acorn

   sprouts from the nurse log               Russell McDonald, Bellevue, WA

                                               

freshly sliced watermelon

the retired mayor

spits the farthest                                Michael Dylan Welch, Sammamish, WA

 

siskins bicker

over the fallen thistle sock     

                                                         Tanya

abandoned barn

cottonwood fuzz drifts

through the loft window                     Russell

 

granddad’s puff

of the dandelion                                Michael

                                 

 

(Judge’s Comments)   I am one of rengay’s biggest fans, so am grateful   that HPNC spotlights it each year. I hope this leads to more writers experiencing the many-faceted enjoyment derived from creating rengay with fellow poets. I was asked to choose one winner and up to five honorable mentions. With some very excellent entries enjoyed over and over again, this was more difficult than it sounds, and the ranking of the honorable mentions changed several times. Selecting the overall winner was a little easier, for these reasons:  Pausing Mid-Pirouette satisfies in every way. The links and shifts are beautifully accomplished, often subtly (which I prefer: a little subtlety encourages me to stay with a poem until I mine every treasure—and leaves me wondering if I might find even more on the next reading). The humor in the link/shift from that pirate flag to the chain guy pocketing his loot is a fine touch. Each verse could easily stand on its own (one of the early “rules” I learned and seek to fulfill when I write, although that aspect isn’t always mentioned in definitions). This First Place rengay is a delightful example of how a secondary theme can be woven into the main one. Here, the main theme of natural events is paralleled with colors (some stated, some implied). These poets very nearly accomplished a third theme – the interaction of humans with the events. Four of the six verses include that, and a fifth hints at it. The final verse links nicely back to verse 1, thus making this rengay as close to perfect as I can imagine. All of the honorable mentions (and several other entries) have qualities I believe make excellent rengay. In addition: a pickup game has so much going for it, I found it irresistible: the perfect title for a game-themed rengay, a nice mix of subjects within that theme, and a splendid link from the last verse back to the first (that “standby seat” now becomes a bit eerie when I recall the old saying about the futility of “switching deck chairs on the Titanic”). Thump of a Rose is haunting and some of the verses are totally stunning. Concoctions I is filled with nostalgia and is almost musical when read aloud – beautiful poetry (and I imagine that is equally true in both languages!). Bits of Shell & Ship has many outstanding qualities and is one of those that keeps changing its rank. Spiraling Down has wonderful link/shifts and superb images.                                                                     - Billie Wilson

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Congratulations to all the winners and thank you for participation.

                                      John Thompson (Haiku, Senryu, Tanka contest chair)

                                      Fay Aoyagi (Rengay contest chair)

 

To see the past contest results, please click 'contest result' on the sidebar.

 

    

 

 

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